


Love & Nightshades

by FairyTrashMother



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, The tomato fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2020-08-09 23:21:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20125516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairyTrashMother/pseuds/FairyTrashMother
Summary: Warlock reminisces about his Nanny and his childhood gardener and reflects on what they taught him about love (and botany).





	Love & Nightshades

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still considering turning this into a proper fic and writing out the details, but in the meantime, enjoy!

It was a small comment, a thoughtless throwaway line on the car ride home from his parents’ house.

“It's shocking you’re so good at being in a relationship, seeing where you came from”.

Warlock feels the unnamed emotion tug at the corner of his mouth. “Yes and no”, he says.

“Well I just saw the ‘yes’ get extremely drunk and passive aggressive, what’s the ‘no’?”

They drive in silence for a bit while he chews the thought over for a moment, trying to figure out where to begin. Finally he flicks his eyes to her and asks “How much do you know about tomatoes?”

“Tomatoes?”

“Well you remember how I’ve said that I was mostly raised by my Nanny and that Gardner? Well there was this time when I was kid. Brother Francis brought me out to the garden to show me all of his plants and how everything was in bloom one summer and I remember all the squashes -- so many squashes, and I remember the beginnings of the apples and all of the berries, and I remember asking him why there were no tomatoes. And brother Francis, well he took that to be a Teachable Moment and told me that it was a lesson in patience and compassion, and letting people get to things on their own time”.

She smiles softly. “And that’s why you are the way you are?”

Warlock barks a laugh. “No I’m not even close to done yet. So later that night Nanny is giving me my bath because I’m like what. Five? And I’m telling her about my day because. Well because Nanny listened to me. And I was telling her about the tomatoes and she said that he was wrong, tomatoes won’t fruit if they’re too comfortable because domestic nightshades are hearty but they can be huge babies if they’re not pushed and it was actually a lesson about laziness and complacency, and why you need to drive the masses before you or something like that, and well -- you know how kids are unreliable narrators at best?”

She looks wickedly delighted as she smiles even wider, which he reflects, is exactly why he loves her. “Warlock what did you do?”

“Well. I went back to tell Brother Francis that Nanny said he was wrong, but what I guess I ended up saying was that she thought that he was lazy and complacent and. I just remember him looking like I’d dropped a rock on his foot, and I felt so bad. He was a weird man but he was so nice, and I know he really liked Nanny and as an adult I think they were very in love but couldn’t get married because I think they were a different religion or something, they were very old fashioned. 

“But I remember him rushing me off, and he never did that, so something was up. And then all week, there were all these little surprises for Nanny. Flowers everywhere inside the house. A pair of really old looking earrings turned up that she said she’d thought was lost. And I can’t for the life of me figure out how he did it but I remember the fireflies were so impressive every night that summer. He must have sprayed something to attract them? I remember him saying that they looked like the stars when they were young, and Nanny was never that emotional but I remember how she looked at him that night when she thought he wasn’t looking. And how he looked at her when he thought she wasn’t looking. So I guess if I picked romance up anywhere it was from them.”  
It’s quiet, for a moment, before she asks, “But who was right? What happened with the tomatoes?”

“Well. I remember Nanny bringing me out to practice making my enemies cower? She was strange and a little. Domineering, I guess? But it was cathartic and she’d take me out there when he was away at the market and we’d practice shouting at the tomatoes, pretending that we were leading legions while she tinkered in the beds with her clippers and spray bottle. The tomatoes came in massive and perfect, so I have no idea who was right. Maybe both of them. But I remember she kept her mouth shut when he won a prize for them at the faire.”

“That’s terribly romantic, Warlock.” They drive in silence for a while longer, and he rests one hand on her knee. Then she turns her head slightly and asks, “Is that why you’re always muttering so meanly at the house plants?”

“They need structure, Elissa!”

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written in a Very Long Time™, please be kind. You can find me on Tumblr as @TheFairyTrashmother which is my blog for yelling about fic and fandom and trash.


End file.
